You Can't Speak, But You Can Sing?

So my third placement was in Acute Stroke. This is a remarkable field of physiotherapy that, quite frankly, scared the crap out of me. Communication has always been one of my downfalls, especially when being watched. I'm not easily stressed, but even a task as simple as chopping vegetables becomes tricky when someone's peering over my shoulder. So, I expected to be panicked when being watched in a situation as serious as post-stroke. 

I was just a little tense.

However the patients, cases and whole response unit is incredible. It was challenging, and as cheesy as it sounds incredibly rewarding. The attitudes people had after a stroke I found to be incredible. Most people were fairly accepting of their condition, and either refused treatment to remain in bed or were driven to get back to their life before. It still astounds me how the majority of patients are lovely, when out and about people that are rude and selfish are more common. Perhaps that is simply because I've so far dealt with the very young or very old, where they haven't had time to reach that stage or have grown out of it.

The links between the location of a stroke (in their brain that is... although the local services can make a difference) and the clinical presentation is astounding, and the ability to predict how a patient will present based on their CT scan makes for an interesting role when planning suitable treatment. Obviously different areas of the brain control different parts of the body, whether personality, memory, perception of objects on one side of your body, the ability to talk or the ability to improve your aim on a dart board. Each side of your brain controls the opposite side of your body, so if you have a stroke in your right motor cortex, say towards the front of your brain, you'll lose movement in your left arm. Now this is where it gets really smart: if you're dominant on your right side (ie you are right handed) you are dominant on the left side of your brain, so your speech originates from the left side. Therefore if you're a lefty, your speech comes from the right side of your brain, and to top that all off? Often patients that lose the ability to speak, due to a lack of blood to the area, can still sing. The theory is it taps in to another area of the brain, and so even though they've struggled to say a single word they can join in happily to 'London's Burning'.

I cycled to and from this placement every morning. It was a lovely cycle, mostly downhill on the way there and through a mental hospital, which had a calm, relaxing atmosphere with plenty of greenery. The station was right by Sainsbury's so every evening I could pick up dinner on my way home before hopping on my bike. However one evening I came home late, and my bike was not there. You might be thinking, 'ah but this is London, you knew it was going to happen some time' but actually, that bike was so poxy no one would want it. The frame is too small, the bolt on the saddle jammed to leave it a suitable height for dwarves, the gears gargle frequently and none of the brakes work. It doesn't even look nice. In my panic I started doubting myself. Maybe I didn't leave it there, that must've been yesterday. So I started walking around all the bike racks trying to find it, but the more I thought about it the more certain I was that I definitely left it outside Sainsbury's. Just as I was about to give up hope, I spotted it. My poxy little bike sat there, chained to a new rack with a new lock and someone else's bike. Time to ring the police. But hold on, this was not an emergency - 999 is not suitable. I don't even know where the local police station is. Time to ring the parents. 

Finally, I got a hold of the police. They transferred me from person to person and each time they had the same shocked silence to 'Hi, I had my bike stolen but I've found it chained up to another bike approximately 30m away. Can someone help me to cut it free please?' The conclusion they eventually came to was 'Unfortunately, it is a busy night and there is no one in the area who can help you. We may be able to get someone to you in about 6 hours, but seeing as it will be 4am we do not recommend you stay by your bike.' I'm starting to understand how so few people get their stolen bikes back, seeing as I'd done the tricky bit and found it!

So I decided if the police weren't going to help me, I was going to have to get it back myself. And, with thanks to a local chicken shop, I did. Unfortunately I went to 5 or so shops beforehand and had to explain the whole story to each one. I left a note for the filthy little thieves:

'PAHAHA! Selfish bastards. Hope the other bike is still there. I would have locked it but YOU STOLE MY LOCK. Farewell.'

This isn't a song, however it is a fantastic advert. I thoroughly enjoyed the first one, but this is even more spectacular.

Thinkbox - Harvey & Rabbit